Mascots are creepy

I don’t like mascots. There is something inherently disturbing about them. Ultimately, I think it is the lack of eye contact. To me, mascots are just like that weird uncle everyone has. When you’re young, they are cool, suave and funny. They are people that make you laugh and you are always happy to see them. They gave you their attention while the rest of the family denied your existence. But there is a line in the sand that everyone eventually crosses. Once you step over it, your vision of your uncle changes. You realize that his actions aren’t funny, or fun, they are just creepy. The reason he was always interested in you … and I just realized my fly is down. Is there any way to correct this situation without drawing attention to my crotch? I don’t really thing so. oh well … was because they were a bit perverted. Luckily, you noticed it, especially in the eyes, and could adjust accordingly.

You can’t do that with mascots. Who knows where they are looking. Plus they are always invading your personal space, hugging you. And it’s like, do I know you? Did I say you could hug me? No. Back up before I knock that phony head off of you. I’ll punch a mascot and feel good about it.

3 comments
  1. Patrick said:

    Mascots are also creepy because their heads are disproportionately large compared to their bodies. And what’s with the constant cheesy smile? Are they on uppers?

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